Just 1 Beer Man

 Role:   

The reluctant sidekick of emotional destruction.

He’s the designated grounded one — the friend who’s not trying to fix anyone, just trying to survive the night without getting emotionally entangled (again).

His hideout is The Brewsual Lair, a re-purposed dive bar beneath Alimony-opolis. The neon sign buzzes and flickers, permanently stuck on “1 BEER LIMIT (kinda).” The walls are lined with beer taps that serve Regret-A-Rita, Passive-Ale, and IPA-nxiety.

There’s a vintage jukebox that only plays breakup songs, a dartboard featuring old exes’ zodiac signs, and a “Red Flag Tally Board” where he keeps score of Trainwreck Man’s disasters... He doesn't live there.... He crashes there... Emotionally. Frequently. 

• “I came out for one beer, bro.”
• “We’re talking to her ex right now? Cool. Cool-cool-cool.”
• “Nothing good happens after midnight... or in yoga class.”
• “I’m not drunk enough for this emotional roller coaster.”
• “I’m this close to deleting your apps myself.”

Emotional Anchoring:

Immune to most forms of gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and love-bombing. Keeps Trainwreck Man somewhat tethered to reality.

Truth Serum Cocktails:

Can mix drinks that cause people to accidentally confess their real intentions.

Situational Sobriety:

Can instantly sober up in moments of emotional crisis (but not without heavy sighing).

Tactical Ghosting:

Can disappear from a bad date with stealth-like skill, often leaving only a coaster and a note that says “Sorry, I had to bounce.”

Mood Vibescan:

Reads the energy of a room better than any psychic. Can detect clinginess, chaos, or repressed daddy issues before anyone speaks.